Well its Thursday ,time again to get up-close with Mr Retrosexual here on the Retrosexual’s Corner. Your all time top read ,its been really a long week full of fun, first I got to realize that in the world today we need people who are incentive,not “A” students ,but then its not the years in our life that really counts, its the life in those years ,this week too like always we have been on the streets, watching men trying to put up with the valentine demands from their ladies, I have seen people pairing up mostly when the sun goes down with their hands wrapped across each others waist.
I understand, you see most of we men have been single for a long time and so we are really hard to love, we are too used to being single and independent that it takes Little bit more attention to be convinced by some ladies that we really need them in our lives. Well such happens, its the month of Love and so today we tell you why if there is somebody you should not trust in your life, then its that lady you call sweetheart, she is up to no good. She can never die for you. In fact she doesn’t even care about you.
First, spare me the valentine invitations ,I know your intentions, you see. you don’t just think you are my lover and we sleep under the same roof while you still call in Kiss 100 Fm and ask that man who forgot that he should be shaving his beads weekly, oh Shaffie Weru kiss you on air!, I mean. Who does that, you don’t just say you will keep our bedroom issues and problems to us alone when you call in Maina Kageni who to me is a disgrace to the blind media industry to seek advice on matters he doesn’t even understand. But like my brother Obwogo or Oyundi would say “You cant just understand these ladies, unless you want to die of some luxurious disease!”.
All these happens and she still exoplanets you to take up the Valentine day ,now listen,on Sunday ,this is the plan.Wake up and go to church to repent your sins, give God ten percent of what you have ,once back home,change into your shorts and t-shirt the go hang out with your boys,leave that lady to man up and get herself on a valentine date. In-fact when it hits 1pm and you are in Nakuru ,kindly switch of your phone and switch off your transistor radio ,together with the boys,tune in to 101.7Fm,Egerton Radio for the loudest ,entertaining and educative show on Radio hosted by Me,super girl Emily and Ferdinand.Lets cruise for four hours.
Love is not a sin but this Valentine ,you have a reason to just hide somewhere away from the hands of death, you have a reason to stay away and have some peace of mind. Historically, Valentine was a human being who died out of Love. Bionically we had Samson who drooped in love with Delilah, later he was made clean and he died ,we have a Delilahs in our lives so watch out. For those who love movies you remember Jack and Rose of the Titanic,because of some stupid Love, poor Jack is Resting in peace. William Shakespeare also told us about Romeo and Juliet,you all know that Romeo met his timely death because of that relationship, then there were two Greek heroes who thought they are the lovebirds to watch, the guy-Hercules later died. Son of Man Jesus Christ also loved us so much that he had to die for us.
No WOMAN has ever died for her man because of Love,even if the forbidden fruit was poison, Adam would have been the one dead out of it. So don’t buy her that Red dress, don’t take her out on a date unless she is genius enough to mention at-least four women who have died for their men because of Love. This is the time you need to be sober than ever before!
And to the ladies who bleach their skin, thank you so much ,you have a dark future and a very bright and light skin that cancer will soon hit, add some artificial hips and boobs,upload your pictures on Facebook calling yourself all those sweet names,yes we have men who will like those pictures for you like you want.
Marriage is around the corner and I swear you wont see those likes.Its okay , I know you will coin up phrases like “I don’t need a man in my life” so sad that this will probably come up after you have given birth to a child you cant tell who her father is. Yes you don’t need a man but your Child needs a father.
Get it from Retrosexual’s, all men should boycott the valentines day .Thank me later. .But for now lets talk on the comment box and on twitter @KoyoOdongo and @MagazineReel