9 Types of People on Facebook…


Today as I was doing my rounds in Facebook, something struck my mind. Actually my friend James told me what I had to think about. He asked for what I was actually doing on my wall. I told him that I was doing a research while in real sense I was stalking someone. Then I thought why not find out which kind of people we have in Facebook and what are their characters. Finally I came up with this proven list of NINE types of people on Facebook. Find out where you belong…



These are guys who always have stomach-ache, headaches,
backache and every disease with the word ache as part of its description, yes talk of toothache and the likes. He or she will only pop up with a status such as “NKT!, This toothache” then disappear on to reappear two weeks letter and update “NKTESTICLES!,this backache will kill me”. Hey guys sorry to tell you but Facebook is not a clinic and neither am I your employee to keep on weeping for you.

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This guys Lie about everything, talk of their age, marital status, their place of residence, their profile pictures and where they work. They even lie about the names of their siblings.They usually use ridiculous names like MissDee More, Bucy Swaggalicious,Tctc Angel, Miss (wat wat) pee or tee,Hassan Manchester and Mungai Msoft. This guys can tell you about how they’ve boarded a Benz to South C only to find him walking from a construction site in Kawangware heading to Mathare North.


As their names and category suggest, they always press the like button Facebook status about death, bad news and
sickness. They rejoice when others mourn and laugh when others cry. They pray for illnesses and death upon people. I fear and hate this guys.


You will agree with me that this guys updates always appear like the following. “Today in ksm pap, tomorrow heading to Nairobi pap or mbs pap, next ksm pap”. They also like tagging alone famous names in their travels ie ” Going places with OCPD after taking a flight to Kericho with H.E William Ruto”. They fly in their dreams!


They update mostly when it rains, or cold or when its hot in places such as Kisumu,Nairobi, Mombasa, Uko Kinoo etc.”NKT! its raining” then another will comment “Lol! its hot in Kakamega”.


This is mostly single men/ladies who act holy always posting Bible verses on Sundays and Fridays. Though there are true to the word guys like my friend Salano Medclay Inzaghi, this guys pretend and their main role model is either Kanyari or that pastor from Helicopter Ministries.


They are married today, engaged tomorrow, next day on Thursday they will be in an open relationship then on Friday it will be a complicated relationship, single or divorced etc. They will repeat last week updates the next week. They dont even know whether they are christians or Muslims or even Atheist. They are refered to as the “water Mellon” types.


They will never like or comment on your posts
except when they have something negative to say about you or your posts. Most of my close friends are in this category and I like it because they keep me going. They make me perfect!. They are the security guards in Facebook. They will only comment with three-letter word on your post either “LOL” or “NKT”.


The last group is those who always appear abruptly only to copy paste their friend’s status and put it as their original work. Sometimes I do fall under this category but i only do it in Presidents, Cabinet secretaries and senators posts not sufferers and hustlers.

Comment with where you belong…



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  1. This time you did a great job Fred. Only you forgot a certain category; those who want to inform everyone how informed they are. They post quotes and philosophies everyday just to bring out the picture of brilliance in them. if your intelligent your intelligent and we will know you are. you dont need to waste your time digging up what Aristotle, Socrates and co said. If anything you need to give your your own views. We gotta remember you with them. Kudos anyhow.

    • Thanks George Owino, believe me that your comments do keep me going brother. You help me be better and entertain more. Hahaha the Aristotle wannabes are the tenth lot, well said!

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