It dates to a few decades ago, I miss my childhood. An energetic and elegant young village boy living his dream-the commander in chief of the non-armed forces. We would team up both boys and daring girls to go in jungles for hunting.
I liked it when I was the ring leader! Looking for small wild animals like rabbits and hares was our passion. Funny desolate plants famously known as “mukombera” in Luyha land added up our search list. This plant is claimed to alter your libido positively, spare a few coins and let the hawkers in town rock you out…hope you will enjoy chewing it up and thank me later.
As you go through your business in most university grounds, you will not fail to land or roll your eyes upon “campus couples”. At one point in life you will get yourself on the hunt, either hunting or being hunted. Campus is not an exception. However, most campus relationships seldom do they go beyond graduation or even one semester. Reasons behind this kind of trend?
One anonymous quote that I came across was, “fake it till you make it”. Maybe that has been put to use in creating the sort of relationship problems experienced in most campuses today. There are two forms of personalities exhibited by ordinary humans. The real and the influential personalities. They are all in an individual and do not operate concurrently. So how do they relate to people who are in a relationship or those seeking to be in one?
One in a real personality is whoever behaves like self. Seems ambiguous? Picture what you do when alone, probably behind shut doors of your bedroom. That, which you do, portrays you as real! On the other hand, when you pretend at an event becomes part of your influential self. Maybe, you pose with a gorgeous smile or at times become charming and full of humorous stories. Quite often people will interact with your influential self. Only very close ones will get a feel of your real personality.
Therefore, someone will like your influential self and a times fall in love with it. Things would seem to be going swift and nice. When someone looks at you, only love is seen in you! You start to get comfortable with your significant other. You start to share most of the things and eventually almost everything. In the end, you lower the pane that covered the real you! Then it becomes clear that you were just faking it. Who likes fake things?
That person who fell for you realizes that things cannot just work between the two of you. You now seem a big nuisance to them. At your sight, they can puke their entire digestive system. That is when most relationships begin to go sour and if not rectified on time, breakups follow. You become bitter with everyone or even everything. Sorry for that!
How can we therefore make sure that such scenarios do not befall us? While on the hunt whichever side you are on, be real. Make things about yourself clear in the beginning. If what makes you happy is visiting the less fortunate in the society, go for it. Do not compromise your standards so as to accommodate someone. Why should you fall for something yet you know it is not worthy for you. Am sure there would be someone out there who will love you for who you are and not who they wish you to be.
When couples are angry at one another, this is how things look like…and nobody wants to be here!
Next time you would want to get in a relationship, be yourself to avoid the stress that comes with covering up what you had been faking! And for those in one but have been faking, there is still time. Go back to the drawing board. That must have been so helpful. Isorait!