This is How Long Distance Campus Relationships Don’t Work


Relationships. *sigh*. Long distance nuts are as hard as the life of a middle class citizen.This is a topic that needs research. I did mine and proudly present my campus dating case studies.Enjoy the ride.

Case One:
A friend of mine, let us call him Joseph. Joseph, a prominent student leader from a different campus once asked me to ‘talk’ to his girlfriend who happens to be in the same campus as yours truly. He wanted me to reassure her of his undying love and vision of making her his wife as they had dated for five years. I thought that was incredibly sweet.

Ladies, when a politician forsakes all eligible bachelorettes in your favor give him direct entry, it is the eighth wonder of the world. I genuinely took the lady’s number and was upbeat about our upcoming conversation as I also wanted ‘tips’, you know chit chat like how to keep a man beyond ten days and blabla. The praises a nigga had nailed on this lady? I admit I wanted somebody who would embrace my flaws as he did. Joke on me, I did not need to dig further. Her Whatsapp profile picture was of her getting cosy with another guy, captioned ‘Forever yours’ on the status bar. Ain’t no woman delivering such news to a nigga. I kept mum to date.

Case Two:
relationships*Juliet and *Justus have a perfect relationship.She is an all round lady,fully fletched with responsibility an amazingly perfect juggler. Her routine is figured out, she will go to class on time, watch a movie in between, spent two hours in the library and still listen to her single girlfriend *Catherine’s lamentations at night. Her laundry day is Monday, she is a busy bee who is near perfect.

We Are Hiring!! Writer

Despite her tight schedule, she creates time over the weekend to visit bae’s campus, two hours away. Justus is the dedicated boyfriend every woman wants to get hold of. He visits when he can, uses funds from his part time job to ensure Juliet gets a good time once in a while, supports all her decisions. Instagram photos of the two at Mashujaa Pool Party are still eye candy for regular IG stalkers (Read me). They support each other emotionally, attend family funerals et cetera.

Catherine*, Juliet’s best friend and self proclaimed soul mate revealed how Justus has been ‘nyemelearing’ her for ages and she cannot betray their friendship. For purposes of ‘chics before dicks’, the brother-in-law relationship has turned so sour that they have blocked each other on Facebook and Whatsapp. Juliet has no clue. She might never have a clue as she trusts her man the way I trust uncle Google with my assignments.

Case Three:
*Carol met *James online. Apparently she was incredibly hot on IG he couldn’t resist. Ilianza na kaselfie. After exchanging phone numbers, their relationship took shape. He would call every morning to wish her a lovely day, check with her over lunch, talk lovey-dovey all night. The passion was intense, she swore she could ‘feel him’. They sang over the phone, followed up on each other’s whereabouts, knew each others schedules.

They did things together; cook the same meals at the same time, Watch FIFA World cup 2014, they actually supported the same team. They shared dreams, looked into the future, revealed secrets, even had a theme for their wedding! He was in love and she was smitten, both powerhouses in their own rights. Eventually,they met and stayed together for kedo ..2 weeks?Kim Kardashian did better with her 72 days!

EK will probably scold me for not saying “why” this relationships fail so I’ll say it is totally different for everybody. Sometimes ladies mess up as in case one, other times men spoil the good thing as in the second case, most of the time long distance lovebirds are not meant to be as seen in case three. I can never make judgments based on one couple but you can see that social media is a major shareholder in campus dating. Welcome to the IG generation. Let my audience be the judge.

*Names have been changed to protect identity.



We Are Hiring!! Writer


  1. This must be a PhD research. Clear objectives with very justified research findings. Good work madam researcher. You going far in this industry. I love your work..

Comrade, Share your Thoughts Here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.