Even my Friend Kalisto was so mad when he got the news of Africa’s number one hustler having a baby outside wedlock, he threw his feeble hands into the sky as if he is dancing to Wizkid’s “Feeling the beast” and uttered perhaps the most serious stuff I have ever heard from him “Eti?, Eti Ruto ako na mtoto na Madha mwingine,brathe,huyo Madhe amepata breakthrough, IMAGINE!” he followed his utterance by a moment of silence to allow me decode ,I might not like the idea of a man crying in public or tagging himself an hustler yet he has really some good bucks stacked in more than three banks, but the idea of the same man coming out in public, admitting responsibility Is something to be talked about. That was so good, something most of these men out here lashing at him including Kalisto could not put up with. My bedroom research tells me that almost all the men who said one or two about William are deadbeat fathers whose children have been causing me sleepless nights here at plot 12, the noise they produce at night is exactly the same we heard from their so gone Fathers. It’s twisted Tuesday.
Last Sunday as usual, I woke up and headed to the barber Shop, I wanted to catch up with Gregory for some real time updates on the Lectures Strike and its effects so far on his business and that of “Ocampo and CO exports” .this day at the Barber shop, Gregory is not as happy as usual so I make up my mind and conclude that maybe his Landlord decided to help him close the door or his Only Lover Mamito has started piling some valentine pressure on him, You know Mamito always used her free time on Saturday to tell us how much she wants visit Karura Forest ,most likely ,Gregory Woke up to that type of story this morning .
“Brother,habari yako ,ya biashara na ya Mamito” I say as I fix myself on a two legged stool rooted to the ground at the center of Gregory’s Office. “ Aha! Brother, Leo umeamua kupiga Vest Na Short asubuhi, uko Coast nini? Anyway, Niko salama,Mamito hata sijui ataamka saa ngapi,Biashara iko Mbaya sana”, he replies as he looks at his reflection on the mirror with his left hand reaching for a small transistor Radio.
“Mr. 254,oh! Mr. Retrosexual,I had sure customers ,about ten of them before the strike came, I use to shave ten ladies at least on a daily basis and all of them were students, they always came in the morning at seven or in the evening at around 8,I mean I had to put up with their images on the mirror because they looked so different after the shave but all that mattered was the cash, now they don’t come, the same ladies used to buy White coats for Laboratories ,Gumboots and Ropes from Ocampo and CO exports Next door,since the strike started ,me and Ocampo have been shaving nothing and selling nothing,Can you imagine” Gregory lamented ensuring different facial expressions after every word, he then waited me to respond like I was some President or the Richest breathing thing before Man.
Going by the description he gave ,I was sure this strike has hit him hard, I was also sure that the ladies here are my Egerton university Agedian friends, Gregory just forgot to mention that most of them always have earphones with them and some cloth around their Neck.60% of them who have no time for weaves from Brazil and Peru so they prefer their hair to be chopped off, I mean you cannot manage to look like Amina Mohamed if you have classes all the day and you walk around with packed lunch like a class two kid,infact,I doubt if some of these Agedian ladies have those Micro-Miniskirts, they keep their lab coats on and tie up the milking ropes on their waits. They are that professional. Those who cannot bear the weight of the gumboots have huge handbag like stuff to help.
Today, I do my share of building a nation, I urge the Government or whoever is concerned to end the lectures strike so that Gregory Can find a way of Convincing Mamito that her dream of touring Karura Forest on valentine’s day is still on course, you know Kenya is a blame game nation, if this strike will continue I will back Gregory in blaming the Central government for his breakup with Mamito.Anyway, special Love to all the Egerton University Agedian ladies, hope your February is fine though.
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