Twisted Tuesday:Forget the Lightskins,”Akorino”Women Make The Best Wives In The City


I stay a few meters from a dusty wooden house with leaves everywhere in the compound, isolated from the rest of the buildings in that Plot, this house has two flags in front of it, well, and it is not a school or a Chiefs Camp for those who are already imagining the world out of this. That is one thing about me, the other thing is that I have a tendency of waking up at  10:00AM on Sunday’s, maybe because when I was in primary school ,it was around that time ,me ,my brothers and Cousin Jones Koyo would leave home to go have a bath in the River, Man ,we use to have one shower in Seven days(That is for another day though) .After waking up at 11AM ,I always head to the nearest barber shop to catch up with Gregory, that guy knows everything, like this Sunday, he told us how he had predicted the Death Of Lucy Kibaki ,somehow we listen to him so keenly ,I mean, if you were already born when Obama was giving his acceptance speech after being elected for the first time in 2008,then you know what am talking about.

The second reason why I wake up and head to this barber Shop each Sunday is because that Wooden house is a church and I kind of don’t like the sound coming from it ,it is not Kikuyu ,English or Swahili ,it’s something else, it is more confusing and scaring than your crush sending you a message like “Hi Koyo” that day she goes stalking you and finds another Lass on your profile picture as your WCW,damn! .This building is a church and sources closer to Gregory alleged that it is an Akorino Church, the sound they make might not be making sense to me but am sure it means everything to God, that is one fact that leaves me so happy and excited about a people who are worshiping One God in different ways. I like that church so much, about a month ago I spotted some daughter of Ever coming from that church while at the barber shop, so each Sunday when you see me picking a spot there, my mission there is more than Gregory’s lies, it is the only perfect spot from which I can see the “who and who” from that church.

People have been seeing beautiful ladies since the days of Solomon and now we have Jacob Zuma, for a nigga who has never had a relationship anniversary like me, I find it so cool just staring at a beautiful lass and just getting lost for a while, around that time I can easily say yes if you asked me whether I like Moses Kuria, this Akorino lady is the ninth wonder of the world you have been hearing about. In a world where light skins are busy fixing up dead hair and all that bag of colors on their bald heads, she is out here looking like Angel Gabriel’s wife, head is neatly tied up with some cloth, Gregory has it that they rarely let their head seen, not unless you are her family.

To my future running mate if you reading this just know that immediately I take you in, you will have to convert to this religion, at least that’s the only sure way of putting on clothes, Akorino’s out on long dresses running up to their toes, they never let you see that leg, not like these ladies out here with ugly stretchmark’s and tummies yet still insists that Young Handsome Men like Bernard Kibet must see all that. Something else with these Akorino ladies is that they seem to be so understanding, when you see a lady dress up in the 21st century, it means two things, You can forget to buy her a gift on your anniversary and she will not hold you hostage for that and the second is that you cannot end up on the Terrorist watch list for being seen greeting or hugging another lady out there.

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I therefore recommend any serious Son of Adam who wants to get into some little trouble like getting married to come to “YESU AMEZALIWA MINISTRIES”, Come ye all and receive the Lord, He will bless you instantly.

Am on Twitter @KoyoOdongo or @MagazineReel. Follow me on Instagram @anchorkoyo



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  1. Wow. Reading from Tuk. This guy is the man. Send your number we could really connect. I’ll look for you on instgram

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