“Laughing And Smocking At The Same Time” The Only Survival Skill Of A Light-skin Lady


The only reason why i will respect 60% of these ladies out here is their ability to march the color of their wigs with the shoes,blouse,bra ,lipstick ,toes not forgetting to ensure that the eye-lids march the handbag.Lets face it,i spend most of my time watching these damsels out here in the streets(What do you expect me to do in a nation where every youth wants to be an MCA in 2017) . It is here in Kenya where ladies have the audacity to stand upright and hold their waist only to say that successful marriages are based on gives and takes,where the man gives gifts and money and the wife lectures mercilessly anytime he gets home late and gives directions.Truth is,i am not only struggling to be patriotic,am also struggling to understand the problems these ladies might be facing,it seem so deep that it cannot be swept by any form of Tsunami,i mean,it cant be Corded anymore.

Few weeks ago i met this light-skin lass in some dark lit corner at night(Don’t even imagine where i was coming from at 1AM ),being one of those kids who was brought up by a mother who made him believe that not greeting a stranger is the worst crime ,more worse than stealing public funds and trading insults in public and on National Televisions,i said Hi,My honest greeting received a “Look at you dude,you ain’t my type ” stare ,i guess its because i had not combed my hair and i was obviously looking like am fighting for this nation,trying to wrestle it from some people we know,i was so sure if id meet the lady the following day she would ask for a selfie with me for the obvious reason.No lady wants to miss a flick with a sharp looking,tall dark and handsome son of the soil.

Few steps past ,this lady started talking to herself laughing ,she was laughing and smocking at the same time(Now that is what i call skill) ,Most of these light-skins out here are drug addicts and smoke everything ,the only thing they don’t smoke is still unknown,but who am i to blame them,i have an eye problem and i have been struggling with some glasses ,perhaps we have the same reasons,i struggle with the glasses to see well,they smoke to see well too.Who Knows?

I will not apologize ,if i was to wife somebody’s daughter now or tomorrow i will go for that dark-skin fine one who understands how useless it is to hide behind  a skin.Very useless,in fact as you read this some light-skin somewhere is making rounds in-front of some mall to be noticed,some somewhere is busy drinking her weaves off ,and to confirm that its indeed a useless and silly nation ,One Timmy T Dat is probably planning how to “Murder” Some Show this weekend with stupid silly lines like “Sijui nikuite Mortury,venye unamada!” There is nothing funny in these light skin damsels,no hard feelings and no soft spot either for the beautiful angelic dark-skin chilling somewhere listening to music or studying.You Know recently someone was arrested in jailed for stealing Slippers,recently someone was asked if she know Waiguru whom she allegedly conspired with is her dirty schemes,now you know what fun really means.

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Bottom line,to all the light-skins,we need a break ,get in doors and get your lives together ,these streets are so hot for your fake skins ,there is too much noise ,we cant hear your fake accents.You think you are pretty? These men are ready to cheat on you.Only Desperate men will have a light-skin chick for a wife unless she is that reserved and upholds dignity and respect not only within her but out in the streets. I mean,before i started writing this ,i was cooking ,funnily enough when the food was ready i lost appetite and throw it on the dustbin for the dogs,as you read this am having three banana’s For Lunch.Most men will understand what am talking about.

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