When it comes to operating the condom dispenser, two vital activities are the most difficult to spot. The first is whoever restocks the dispenser, and the second, they that raid the dispenser of condoms. It is as if these two types of people have mastered the art of stealth specifically to embrace anonymity.
It is true that most condom dispensers are placed in toilet facilities where privacy is paramount and the one in need can easily access them. Others are conveniently placed there since toilet facilities offer the kind of environment that is to some ideal for coitus. Either way, the toilet condom dispensers are the easiest to handle. One, because you are dealing with members of the same gender who regard your appetite a necessary feature for your existence and two, because you could very easily find yourself alone in a toilet facility, long enough to pull a condom or three from the dispenser. Thanks to the fight against HIV/AIDS, you can easily evade the socially constructed stigma against sex outside the confines of marriage!
The trickiest part of this condom business however is that there are nowadays a good number of condom dispensers placed in open public spaces. These are the most complicated to access. There are a number of textbook tricks however that I have observed:
i.) Pretend to be on phone.
This is one of the best condom accessing technique available. People tend to lose the interest of looking at you when you are on phone. Few would like to listen to your boring conversation with you ‘grandma’. So pace up and down around the dispenser while on phone and when no one is staring,go for the prize; pull out the condoms from the dispenser.
ii.) Pretend to pick the condoms for your friend.
This is the simplest technique available. As long as you can make conversation about the sexual appetite of that ‘friend’, you can very easily get away with picking the condoms. If you stay in some neighbourhood, you could even feign being the ‘designated driver’ who ensures the safety of his sexually addicted comrades 🙂
iii.) Visit the Dispenser at Odd hours.
This is the best condom picking technique ever! You can pick condoms in the comfort of the night without being spotted. Or you could take advantage of the rain since no one fancies walking in the rain. Similarly, an early morning visit to the dispenser will guarantee you enough privacy while accessing the dispenser.
There you have it. The best possible techniques. And since there is need to reduce the increase in abortions in varsities, especially through increased access to condoms, it is imperative that we keep having each other’s backs. Please comment with more techniques that could have even better results.