Dear reader,I beg to travel against the tide on the norms with concern to the month of love.Cheers for coming this far!Inasmuch as it is wise for men to treat their ladies to a love-filled escapade this month,ladies too need to make efforts in showing their love.
First and foremost I would like to throw my accolades to those who have stuck together, despite the cut-throat competition from fellow comrades,lecturers, MCAs and business top honchos.Cheers!To those who faced the unforgiving wrath of a heartbreak as they shifted for a loaded guy this Valentines,my sincere ‘sorry’ and free advice-concentrate on a fat bank account rather than a fat body!May Feb 14th serve you right.
My experience last Valentines was a gut-wrenching ordeal.I was forced to learn that the only thing worse than death was a bad date.My date was a ‘bootylicios’ 1st year Luhya lady.She was hotter than most,in fact my roommate used to joke she was global warming.I managed to save enough for a Star restaurant in the neighbouring Machakos town.I picked her from the Lower Kabete hostels in a hired car driven by my roommate.
At 6p.m. on the dot we were seated at the restaurant after managing to pull her the chair just in the niche of time before she did it herself.I could tell she didn’t notice the ‘romantic’ act.As the cool soul music playing in the background penetrated through to our candle-lit setup,I could read the uneasiness printed in her eyes.She finally let it out,complaining on the poor lighting of the room.
As other couples engaged in romantic conversations,she couldn’t stop showing her ignorance by pitching tent this time on the poor sounding system.Inside, I was a very disappointed man as I had fought tooth and nail to save this much.As we embarked on the main meal which she had no idea on what it was-a Sicilian snail soup and pasta fagioli-I was already wishing for the ground to open up and save me her unending embarrassments.We took our desserts, as the band was now making a kill on Spanish set pieces.
I still managed to drop her off after giving her my gift basket which contained a series of romantic jeweleries and chocolates-a symbol of love.Even after treating her like Her Majesty the Queen herself-an expensive candle-lit dinner where she dined mercilessly on the meal-I received zero gifts from her,let alone tasting her cookies!
Ladies,I can smell your dudes sweating their asses off to surprise you this Valentines.Love is a two-sided stuff.Try getting your prince charming one of the following; an expensive genuine leather jacket,a leather or silver handle wrist watch,a pair of nice designer shoes,a gadget or better still,all the above.
As lovebirds will be sharing chocolates and warming each others beds this Valentines,I will be cooling my heals at my local,sipping my trademark cold stout.Have a love-filled month,won’t you?