Ever since I was a child, my father used to tell me that men are the heads of their households. The title doesn’t just come for free. It is accompanied with myriad responsibilities. Paul the apostle made it absolutely clear that the man must take the leadership in his home when he wrote to the Ephesian church. He commanded in Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Many men of my generation would want to get the title of being the head and abhor the responsibilities that go with it. Some of these responsibilities include; providing for the family, protecting the family and guiding the family. Some don’t understand how they should lead, while others simply refuse to lead. They end up leaving a leadership vacuum in many families. Most of them are absentee fathers who are always drunk to numb themselves from the harsh reality of being a leader. Because of the leadership vacuum, women have stepped up and filled the vacuum in most families. That is why in some regions like Central Kenya, we are always treated to a soap opera where men are given reality checks by their women.
It’s not only in marriage where men cower from responsibilities. Young men who are still courting or dating have taken the cue from their elders who are already in marriage. They have decided to take a back seat in relationships and let the ladies run the show. Most of them prefer cougars that will pay bills, buy them a top of the range car, and also buy a house in the leafy suburbs of the city. They will give young ladies who are their age mates a wide berth for fear of responsibilities. By doing this, they are inadvertently auctioning their leadership rights to the highest bidder.
The repercussions of the leadership vacuum are most prominent in Central Kenya. We always hear men being beaten by their spouses and also being killed in extreme cases. The main reason for the unfortunate cases to happen is that most of the victims have either abdicated their duties to provide for the family or they have stolen the only family savings that the spouse has labored for and squandered it in changa’a dens. It’s so unfortunate that the Maendeleo ya Wanaume organization will come out in support of the men after these ugly incidences to maintain its relevance. What the organization doesn’t know is that; these are only symptoms of a deadly disease. They should rather deal with the disease than the symptoms if they want to remain relevant.
If you are a real man, please stand up on your two feet and take up the leadership role in your relationship or family. Put a smile on your spouse’s face by being the provider, offering companionship and guidance. By doing this, the title which you so much crave for will come automatically. You won’t demand for it. We will also not be witnessing the ugly scenes witnessed in Central Kenya. Therefore, it is clear that the lack of the man’s leadership in his home will definitely create a chain reaction of marital, financial, and parenting problems. This is what Maendeleo ya Wanaume should be telling us. If you are a real man, stand up and be counted. If you are not, it’s not too late, you still have a chance to change and be one.