Do you buy your own condoms? Well, I do. But I never enjoy the peace of using them all to my satisfaction. Either I will use one or two or nine completely. And it’s all on that neighbor who will never fail to knock on my door for a condom or two.
I buy my condoms at two specific shops. One is far away from human existence while the other is a shop that no one ever seems to visit. I ensure to avoid shops with mothers since I can’t buy condoms from a woman old enough to be my mother. I would not want to give her the luxury of comparing me to his son and thinking just how spoilt the current generation is! I also avoid very busy shops since everyone is watching they that buy suggestive shop products.
If you do not have tales such as these then you belong to the same class as my neighbour! Worse still, you are an S. O. S (skin on skin) specialist and need more help than my sexual exploits could ever attract. Whenever my neighbour has that visit, he almost certainly always knock on my door. Then, he asks for them. He calls them ‘bullets’ obviously implying he has the gun! And I ensure to sort him out lest his gun implode and harms his entirety.
Any soldier against STI’s and especially HIV/AIDS is a soldier worth my attention. I wish they could all buy their ‘bullets’ and leave me to my exploits! Alternatively, am thinking of visiting the dispenser myself, and use the neighbours’ excuse to pick his type of condoms for him. Maintain the supply for as long as he keeps coming. Who knows, maybe one day I may find myself in need of back up from my regular brand of ‘bullets’. Or the weather may prevent me from visiting that vintage shop that supplies my clandestine activities. It’s always safe to feel safe 🙂
I fancy the studded condoms since they are an expression of how serious you are with your mate. The least valuable to me are sorted with the off dispenser valuables. I wish my neighbour had this type of logic. But since he seems a stallion with all the energy to burn, I doubt the type of ‘bullets’ to use is the least of his worries. And as long as his next door neighbour never seems to run short of supply, the demand is definitely bound to remain.
Whichever your brand of condoms, practice safe sex. And better still, be your neighbour’s keeper. And when he becomes a bother, fill a carton with the dispenser condoms and label it with his pseudonym. Then hide it under your bed where none will think to check. You may just be that straw that he clutches on to remain alive.