Letters from my past – That girlfriend

letters from the past

Now guys, it’s been a long while since I came around. Not something I wanted, but school happened, and it has been hectic but I think that I have survived it all. Now I’m on holiday, Can I get an AMEN? Sorry guys if you are on session, but then again, I think campus is fun so much fun, except the bit where we have to sit our examinations. So as I was idling in my room at home I decided to go through some stuff from high school. You know letters, cards and whatnot. .. And voila, came an idea. I will turn my past letters, notes and cards into a story.

This is one of them, I think it is pretty deep and sweet and sensual. It is from a girl, yes, we’re still friends, but not as close anymore. Here we go:

“As I sit here, I can’t help but smile at all the things and people I see. You know, probably I’d sit down and take out a book and write you a quote from there but I chose the harder way. I’ll tell you everything that I am feeling. This note is not to be stored, please demolish it after you’ve read it because I don’t think it is important. Okay, I’ve never done this but I will try, just to do my best, just to make you believe nothing will happen to our friendship.

“You know in my life, I’ve never felt loved, appreciated by anyone, you will one day understand. When I came to Bush, it started with Gracie, our friendship has grown and you know I always have a friend in her. Then it was Olive, then Charity, you, Diana then Maureen. I don’t really know why God gave me such a precious gift. Kendi, just know that these past two months have been the happiest days of my life, I’ve not gone to cry, I’ve not felt lonely neither have I looked back. You’ve been there for me in everything and you have seen much beyond the Angela I am. Time after time, I have been tempted to think I am in a fairy tale but I realize it’s in reality with real people. Do you remember: “if you ever feel like giving up, do not give up on our friendship? If you feel like leaving, think of how hurt I would be if you ever left. Above all things I have seen you as a mentor, an adviser, and even someone who brightens up my days. At times like this I would write a poem but the words in my heart are too many they will probably fill the whole page and not end so I prefer to continue.

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“You know God has been so faithful to give me many gifts. You know now as I look back I regret for all the time I wasted when you were right behind me. If I had known you earlier I would have been a better person. Just to quote a song: ‘You make me better’. Enyewe sijui, our lives are separate but our hearts are one.

letters from the past“Every Monday morning as I am in my bed, I look for a reason to wake up and I really can’t miss, one of the first is “Amka unaenda kumpata Kendi class” I jump out of bed and run. I always pray for you as I go to bed and as I wake up so you last face I see as I go to bed and the first I see as I wake up.

“Enyewe Kendi, I have never written anything from the heart but today I have done so because of you. Enyewe I don’t understand why I have written all this when I could have summarized it in one quote but know everywhere you go, my shadow will always be there with you. May God bless you abundantly. You’ve touched my heart.”

And that’s it. That’s the letter. I honestly have no idea why she wrote that and how for a moment she saw me as a mentor and someone to look up to. Not to say that I was a rogue student or anything but that still surprises me. But isn’t it just so good to be admired and be looked upon? People wishing they could be like you? Trust me, it feels damn good, I would know.

Or maybe, we just can’t see the good traits in ourselves and hence we live our lives imagining than no one sees us or admires us. I am flattered to think that back then, there was someone who looked up to me and got inspired to be a better person. And maybe this feels like I’m blowing my own trumpet but it is a stroke on ego which I so utterly need at this point in my life. So, to Angie, always strive to be a better person, better than I was and ever will. Much love my darling.





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