Oh my Boobs!

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boobs list beautiful

I bet by now everyone has seen the new babies on her chest. By everyone I mean all those that have access to social media. Oh hell yeah she did strike again, barely two months after the bleaching, ooh no, skin lightening vibe. And yes, you guessed right, I am talking about Vera Sidika.Boobs Now guys, I know you already downloaded the damn photo and please stop staring at your phone like that, and drooling like an idiot. Where I come from, staring is rude and uncivilized. Cut it out already. Did I just sound like a jealous girlfriend? No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. And is it just me or does she really look like a doll in that photo? Sexy? Are those Double Ds? Oh well!

So yesterday had been a normal day for me, and by that I mean, spent it indoors reading my book all day. So the devil, that little cunning piece of shit decides to tempt me, a temptation I easily gave into and I got on to twitter. And my timeline was on fire with Vera, Boobs, praises and insults, bile and indifference for our dear beloved socialite. It was like a market place, to say the least. Scroll… scroll and scroll and whoa.. I saw the photo. Pause. Silence. I’m looking at my phone but I ain’t seeing nothing. And my pulse slows down, and for a moment there I am consumed with self-loathing thoughts. I am sad. And for the first time ever, since I came to be conscious of my being, my physical self as a teenager, I felt that my self-esteem had gotten a blow. I could feel the dent it had left. Sigh.

Vera boobsI know I am not the only girl, lady, woman or let’s just say female who felt that way yesterday. It wasn’t anger or jealousy. It wasn’t hatred or scorn. It was just a moment of overwhelming self-consciousness that made me look at myself critically, like a painter does to a painting, keenly scrutinizing and seeing through the colors and the different strokes of the brush and the result that each left. Or maybe it was a moment to question the Big Guy above, and ask: “God, why me?” Sadness. More silence. I swallow hard, my throat is dry. But in no time, I am back to my usual self, I mean, we all know the slogan, accept and move on, right? Yes, typical Kenyan, don’t blame me.

So back to the issue on Vera’s chest, aren’t those breasts huge? I haven’t seen such a perfect pair ever. No, breasts sounds bad, kinda feels like there’s been a kid who’s suckled them. Speaking of which, I wonder how much those kids will enjoy them, or not. None of my business though. I bear no moral standing to give opinions on how people live their lives but one thing I know is that Vera probably had a really messed up childhood for her to just go ahead and want to change everything about herself. Her ass, stretching from here to Timbuktu and back gave her fame when she featured in the P-Unit Vid for That Dendai or something, forgive me, I’m not much of a fan for Kenyan music. With the fame and controversy that followed, she became famous and bagged the socialite title. And you know the Nigerian tycoon vibe and the expensive weaves, I can give the actual price here, it pains my heart though.

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Vera bleachedThen she bleached, which came with more fame, more media attention, yes was it BBC that gave her audience? Bleached Beauty? Yes, and you heard her sentiments. About not being anyone’s role model and my body is my business what not? Okay, is this the point where I take a moment to console all dark-skinned females? A moment of silence, please. Yours is a tough war. Take heart. God loves us all. And no, no sarcasm here. I’m being honest and sincere. I won’t give you the Lupita crap, you already know it all. Just accept yourself. We can’t all be the same. If you really wanna be light-skinned, do it right, get money, good money, and do it right, you don’t want to end up looking like an over-ripe banana or with something worse, like skin cancer.

Again, your life, your body, your rules. If your bra is the A-cup, take a deep breath; invest in push-up bras and padded bras, not one, not two, but several. You can thank me later. And guys please, quit hating on us Team Mapera, we need some loving too, don’t you agree? They will grow gradually, just be patient. Give us time. Meanwhile, show some love. All said and done, the voluptuous Vera has got everyone talking yet again.

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