Our Facebook Names vs. Our Real Names

Facebook names

When it comes to naming ourselves on Facebook, it is a case of catching up from where scientists of the binomial nomenclature left! We always compete with scientific names of some weird organisms that are only seen in the world’s most scary movies!

Have you heard of a girl who obliviously befriended her dad on Facebook and they became lovers? Her dad couldn’t give her enough pocket money when she asked. He did not have money – as he said! So she could look for alternative assistance, ask the sugar daddy who sorted her some good amount more than her dad did. She never knew it was her dad, and her dad never knew it was his daughter! This was until they decided to meet in a bar at night before they could later proceed to the guest house he had booked. The girl had sneaked out of school and the sugar daddy had lied to his wife about an overnight business trip. The episode of what happened after they met is a movie worth an Oscar and above!

Facebook nameBut look here. Which names could these fellows be using on Facebook? Could you date someone who has a full name resembling any of your family members? Say yes and I will call you an ambulance. It is likely that this girl used different names which she thinks are better that her biological names that appear on her birth certificate. And her dad? Huh!!! What could he be calling himself!

Nowadays, people find it very easy to date online. You can chat with your lover the whole day without hearing the noisy waiter ask, “mletewe nini?” At least your wallet doesn’t get much injury, buying MBs is just enough. Everyone makes their own arrangements and all you can is just ask “what have you eaten for lunch babe?” and she will tell you some kinds of food that are only served in the state house when she just ate ngumus and strong tea. Well you know she is lying, you also retaliate and virtually eat fried chicken and chips just before you call your friends to tell them how hungry you have been since yester night!

As trend has it, the girl you dated online has a name you can’t even mention! You arrange and meet for the first time and ask… “Are you (insert name)”? You mention it in a way she denies she is the one. You also can’t use her face to tell if she is the one you see online. You just understand how pictures are doctored before being released for the online audience to view! So you make a call to the phone no she gave you. Her phone is ringing and it is your number that appears!!!

There you are. You have your catch. But you see you will need to introduce her to your buddies.  As who?

Dear girl, you are Waithera wa Nyagothie. That is how we know you. Where did you get a Chinese name from?

Waiting for the answer….

Tweet me @HesbornN or Poke me




  1. hehe nice one, I recommend you try your hand on a ‘xaxa xema’ generation otherwise known as Xhosa generation. You can write a good one I believe.

  2. Exactly!, what happened to our originality and honesty?. We brood evil deeds through hiding behind our shadows…online dating is like online roombooking at Egerton. I expect more of this good read Sir!

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