Remember To Forget Me: The Security Guard


The guard swore left right and center that he knew the Man. When asked later how he looked like, he couldn’t describe him any better than before. Even under hypnosis, the Man’s face danced teasingly at the front of his psyche.

He had started working the day before, the Man, kept to himself mostly, a bit antisocial. Despite the guard’s claims, however, no employment records of the Man existed; nobody remembered how he looked like, his name or where he had come from. By all accounts, the man was a complete mystery. The split second it took him to slip on that ridiculous mask hadn’t been enough either.

GuardGoing with the guard’s description, the man was tall, an even six foot two, give or take. At some point he had slipped out of the guard’s uniform into black, adopted an M16 rifle and a pistol the guard couldn’t quite place. The M16 is the most popular assault rifle in the world, second only to the AK47. The guard counted six assailants, all armed, all masked. By his estimation, there were more, putting into consideration the ease with which they had taken over the building, neutralizing the security with ridiculous ease.

A staccato of about twelve rounds into the air got everyone’s attention. The leader walked to the center of the House, taking his time, his steps slow and measured. The guard made a mental note of that. Rapid fire, twelve rounds. The gun was set to fire twelve to fifteen rounds a minute. There was silence before he spoke.

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“And behold, a pale horse, and its rider’s name was death, and Hell followed him; and they were given power over a fourth of the earth, to kill with the sword. Behold, ladies and gentlemen, the harbinger of death, your host for the afternoon. You can call me Rider, Mr. Rider, if you feel courteous.”

He didn’t sound like a maniac, in the guard’s humble opinion. Looks can be deceiving, however. The country’s elected officials must have arrived at the same conclusion because they all started speaking, all at the same time.
A second staccato of rapid fire followed, prompting silence. Self-preservation is a beautiful thing.

“Forgive my enthusiasm; I’m a bit over excited here. I had a speech planned out, you see. Where was I? Yeah, the beginning. Just what am I doing here? You morons have made a complete mess of things since independence, in no small part thanks to my fellow citizens. Things have been going downhill for quite some time now while we all sit back and do nothing. You have messed up our economy, stolen from us and made a bunch of bad decisions quite consistently. For the record, I am neither naive nor clinically insane. At least I don’t think I am. I’m going off topic again. We held a referendum a while back, passed a damn good constitution too. Instead of enforcing said constitution, you morons spent an awful amount of time tearing it down and shifting it to fit your own selfish motives. I am here today to show you the error of your ways and remedy your mistakes before this country goes to hell in a hand basket. Call me a concerned citizen.”



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