Its Thursday,time for the most thrilling column on air in recent history,The Retrosexuals Column. For those joining in for the first time,this is the column that speaks for and against all the sexes without discrimination.Enough said,its been a long week mostly for the comrades at Egerton University,am told some engineers have decided till now to “Sit Put”.
Teachers have been on strike and comrades whose parents are teachers are urged to send some part of the HELB loan to their parents as pocket money.
Its that hunting season and comrades and micro comrades are working round the Clock to ensure that when the sun stops shining,they shall have made enough hay.At Egerton university One Fredrick Omollo has decided to sponsor the freshmen ,he has given out a whooping Ksh100000 for the freshers night. We,the old men and women who already had “Our Freshers night” are waiting to see how things turn out and if we can get a bite of Omollo’s Cash.
Today, Retrosexuals Corner,we are talking to the first years ,what is normal and what is abnormal during freshers night.What should you do and what should you not attempt doing.By the powers vested upon me by the thousands of Comrades and micro comrades,Alumnus’s and Amicus following thus column every week.I beg to put the column on the Road.
Freshers night is a night of dance and drinks ,that’s it at Egerton University,last year the event was graced by Grandpa Government’s Kenrazy,Visita and Bwana DNA. I was then in second year,i remember gracing the occasion with my entourage that included the likes of Collins Kipyegon and Jerry Odongo. I remember a group going to Amazon at around Two in the night to irrigate their throats. I recall Kenzay ,Visita and DNA giving an electric performing with the track “Hivo Ndo Kunaendaga ” I also remember ladies being “Chipod” after the event.I remember all these,the last one strikes me most and so today am speaking to my brothers and sisters who just joined to Advance their humanity not to show a lot of humanity.
The first move is to be very careful with that son of Adam who has been on the phone,texting you,WhatsApping you for the whole of this week. If he is a continuing student then he might be plotting,scheming something ,something that will not turn up really good on your side. Now getting into it,beware of the following :
Stay away from sexual confession games :
This is how it happens,its a game involving ladies and men,at the center of all this is alcohol,in unison,the participants openly reveal their virginity status,whether they have indulged in Sex or not. Those who have not are subjected to Drinks(Alcohol). Either way,you still get drunk and whatever happens after that i leave for you to guess.Many continuing students easily lure freshers into this kind of game. Its either done in the rooms where house parties are held separate to the Freshers Night. Its nothing away from Group Sex,Retrosexuals want to urge all ladies in their first year of study to stay away from any kind of group,take note,your innocence should not be lost anytime soon in some sort of game.When the bash is finally over,i bet my lung you will thank me .
Wear more clothes:
Cover your body as much as you can. Getting back to the biblical teachings,your body is the temple of God,continuing students always like ladies donning in micro miniskirts and half revealing tops. Some ladies have gone to the extent of Nudity. That night,if you must go out,ensure you are well dressed from the toes to the twig on your head,this will automatically turn off the “Hungry” Second,third fourth year who is waiting on a slight provocation to initiate a move than can turn out to be deadly.From experience and history,ladies have been gang raped on this nights ,not because they walked in the night but because they wore very revealing dresses.If you must get out and dance,Dress well.
Stay away From Dark Places/Corners:
Obvious reasons,I need not to explain that. Finally to be more safe,stay in your room ,attend the CU Kesha .
That warps up Retrosexuals Corner today. We call upon all continuing students to be role models and big figures all the time,all the freshers,think twice before embracing a move. We leave it at that.Cheers,may the Lord Be with you.
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