One of the most prestigious things about becoming a senior student at The University of Nairobi – Chiromo Campus, is managing to secure a room in the Chiromo Hostel. It is like a dream come true, something you long for ever since the day you found out about the existence of this little piece of heaven. It give you pride to say that you live in Chiromo, where both male and female students live as neighbours, and there is no such thing as the 10a.m to 10p.m rule. Wi-Fi in the comfort of your room and hot showers. Sounds like paradise as compared to other places you’ve probably had to spend a semester or two, read, (Prefabs, aka, HollyWood, otherwise known as Woodley estate).
Scratch that, this place is no heaven, especially if you have to deal with micro-comrades, green mosquitoes that buzz around your ears all night long, an extortionist vegetable vendor, (You should see how meagre looking his 10bob Sukuma wiki is. You’ll shed a tear). Not to forget the latest issue of goonship in Chiromo, this is entirely a new thing that we, as Chiromites, The Scientists Community are vehemently and categorically against.
But that is story for a later date. All that, and a roaming potential rapist who has the mind to wake up at 5am and hang around the showers in the females block. This guy, who I assume is on a rather serious dry spell, or is mentally disturbed to opt to spend his early mornings climbing on top of the toilet bowls so as to peep at ladies in the showers, the early birds, who are up and preparing for their day at that time. Sorry I digressed, I do that a lot, mostly because when am on a high of words and they keep flowing, non-stop.
So when I confirmed that I had indeed gotten a room in Chiromo, I was overjoyed and overwhelmed since I no longer needed to walk about 2km from the Hostels in Main Campus to Chiromo. I know most of you take Chiromo campus and Main campus to be one thing, but it isn’t. We are worlds apart, geographically, socially and more importantly, intellectually.
Moving in and settling in went well, despite having to get lost a few time, because to a first timer, this place is like a maze, you most likely would get lost. All was good until panties began disappearing from the hanging lines outside as well as those that comrades fix for themselves at the end of the corridor. Yeah, I had those just outside my door and I utilised them till it almost left me panty-less.
See, thing is, after taking a shower, you hang out our little inner wear and leave it there till the next morning as you head out to shower . But then you realize your red lace panty is missing but your face towel is still hanging intact on the clothes line. And you ask your roomie if she picked it for you but she didn’t, in fact, hers is missing too. And your neighbour mentions that hers too is missing but you assume that the cleaner decided to punish you for wetting the floor and threw out your panties and that ends the discussion. But then again it happens again and again, over and over until you stop airing your dirty linen in public and find a safer place.
But occasionally you forget and leave it outside overnight and next morning it has vanished. And you begin to suspect that maybe all this is the doing of someone with a long hand. The he or she probably steals the panties and takes the downtown to Gikiomba for re-sale. Or he probably is a supplier for some businesses back in his village in Kinangop South? Or maybe she just takes them for herself because she doesn’t like the granny pants her mum buys her? Just maybe… All these were some of the possibilities my friends and I had about our missing knickers. But with time, tulikubali matokeo, and we accepted and moved on, which was inclusive of buying new undergarments since can’t possibly do without them. But all these were the happenings of the last semester.
And this new semester began with lots of upheavals in other universities around the country, something I don’t quite know what to make of it. But all those incidents have brought a lot of things to light. Take the rape and murder incident in Moi? The confusion in UoE? And the commotion in MMU? Only good thing I can gladly report from UoN Chiromo Campus is that finally the panty thief has been caught.
Wednesday the 25th of February, 2015, an agonizingly hot sunny afternoon, a female student happened to spot a male character idling about in the laundry area, picking wet undies and stuffing them into his pockets. Talk about being caught in the act. Absurd? Crazy? Outrageous? What kind of demented is that? To me that is some twisted mental case that need to see a shrink.
And prayers, since apparently the panty snatcher is a Fourth Year student and good Christian. I am not saying Christians ought to be perfect but that? No, I actually don’t have the right words for the incident. So the female witness call her friends and they rush downstairs to meet the panty thief.
And is as the norm in our campuses, crowds are quick to emerge whenever anything interesting, which is relative, happens. So comrades head out and meet up with the guy, find the dripping wet panties in his pockets. What a shame! How embarrassing. That must have been excruciatingly humiliating that I chose not to name and shame him here. If it were me, I’d probably die right there. But it wasn’t me.
And then it was concluded that he was the one responsible for all the missing panties even from the previous semester. This was confirmed by a forced visit to his room where a bag packed with slightly over 200 panties was found. In his defence, looking at them, gives him sexual satisfaction. Those present at the time of the interrogation say that he admitted to wearing some of them. I can imagine him picking one of my 4 that he stole and putting it on and going about his day. That is ridiculous to say the least.
To this psycho, it turns him on to look at your pink, red, white, back panties. He masturbates to them and all that follows. Such a fellow does not even deserve punishment; he needs mental help to overcome such a sick perverted addiction. And that probably explains why comrades didn’t kick his stealing ass, literally. So ladies, your panties are probably safe now, hoping the crook gets some help in dealing with his carnal desire.