I usually loathe the moment it is reported in the media that Esther Arunga has commented on something. This is because ever since the former TV siren left journalism after a much publicized spat with her parents, whatever comes out of her mouth leaves many cringing with embarrassment in their living rooms. But the recent exclusive interview she had with the “Nairobian” magazine made me wish all the ladies had read about it. She spoke in great detail about marriage and blamed her parents for not preparing her to be a wife.
“I never learnt anything about being a wife while growing up. The focus was always on academic success. I was so self-centered, proud and headstrong, qualities that can make marriage a living hell. I’ve had to learn on the job. It’s been a steep learning curve. I knew nothing about respect and submission. Thank God for a super-patient husband,” she says, heaping praises on Timberlake whose flamboyant dressing and accented English Kenyans still recall.
On 24th December 2006, the Daily Nation published results of a poll that indicated that 63% of Kenya’s single women are frustrated marriage-wise because there is no man to marry them! Looking at these poll results and what Esther said in the stated interview, it is clear there is a confluence between the two. Most Kenyan ladies are brought up in a competitive environment. They are taught that what a man can do, a lady can do better. They grow up with such an attitude engraved in their minds.
Disappointingly, as most women climb the corporate ladder, pride and arrogance start creeping in, and they begin to think they are God’s gift to mankind! These are the women who, without cause and provocation, throw their weights around, telling anyone who cares to listen that men are ‘useless’. If you think I am unfairly accusing them, just ask any woman in any office and she will tell you for free that virtually all female bosses are bad news, especially to fellow women.
Men, too, hardly date or marry such types because they find then turn offs and however pretty they may be, most of them generally have a bad attitude towards men. If such kind of a lady is too lucky to get a man to walk her down the aisle, then I bet the marriage won’t go beyond a year. As Esther stated, men want a lady who respects them and submits to them irrespective of whether the lady is a CEO in a company or an office assistant. Unfortunately, there is no school in Kenya that imparts such kind of values in our ladies.
Most corporate wives will come home late, throw their weights on the coach and start changing TV channels while ordering the maid to do what she was married to do. Ironically, the lady will start branding all men “dogs” when her husband starts having a sexual relationship with the maid. Look, if you have a better job than your man, humble yourself, remain a wife and put a smile on his face by paying the bills. Making him feel ‘useless’ is counter productive. Stop being a CEO at home. That attitude ruins marriages. And if you are still single and wondering why no man is approaching you, also change your attitude and you will see them in droves falling over each other for you.