No warnings please, am a retro sexual!
Today I begin with a question. A question aimed at Egerton damsels who by all means are trying hard to tell the nation that they are the most romantic when they know they are far from it. When they know they had already thrown romance to the wind.
Look, I know little about romance but I also know and can bet my lung that Egerton ladies are the most unromantic. Now to the question. Can you march the beauty of Jacaranda’s and replace ill with good?
Last Saturday was Valentine’s Day, I am a man and men are not allowed to fret over minor stuff like valentines and birthdays. So on that day I was an outsider looking inside. Well, Egerton ladies also celebrated valentines but in a manner so unprofessional,traditional is an understatement.
I spotted a good number of blue cars around Maringo and some cars moving at a low speed towards Tatton. This is no rocket science, the cars were in the area to pick a lady.
So, the son of Adam hired a car, fueled it and came driving at low speed, for two reasons. He has no experience driving the damn car and second, he thinks its romantic to do that and he wants the ladies friends to examine the car. come on ladies, its time you cut down your elephant ego.
On 14th February, I made a discovery, Egerton ladies are the stingiest, even the most loaded ones. Even that lass who stays in Runda and has an uncle in town, in Nairobi, Eldoret not to mention that poor guy residing in Njokerio who buys her maize and Mutura not forgetting a swallow at her local pub, Amazone.
The guy does not stop at that, he holds her hand, not her waits as he assists her cross the historic Kshs. 5 milion Njokerio bridge at night. ‘Hio ndo kukaliwa Kangumu’.
Good Lord! Father of Jesus! Its time Egerton ladies realized that romance is two way stuff. The last time I checked, my audio dictionary told me that it means a relationship, actions of PEOPLE in love, not a person.
On 14th, I happened to be walking at night just in front of Barrette hostels when I heard a damsel make call
“Hey ,mambo, imagine I went for a date with this guy, he was so boring, so unromantic, imagine!!”
Its time somebody hit your head to make you know that in the real world, there is no room for imaginations. Yeah! you went for a date. You were boring, infact, the guy really tried.
If it were me, I would have opted,,,,, .okay.How do you expect a normal man to be happy around you when you look like a wild cat. Overdone makeup, weird lipsticks, long earrings, a borrowed high –low ship-on and some high heels you cant balance on not to mention your micro-miniskirt. Real men don’t like that meat you want them to see. It’s that simple.
Am impressed by the ladies who have called me to appreciate the retro sexual stories. Am also more impressed with the ladies who are so annoyed at me, Koyo might not be checking on his friends but he always check on his enemies.
If you are a man, and you are normal, then you have all the reasons to check on this space every Thursday, its only here where the brave cowards get a voice in their relationships.
Lets tweet all week long @MagazineReel and @KoyoOdongo. Tweet using #RetrosexualsCorner #UnromanticcEgertonLadies before your message.