Today we are legally launching the 20th World Cup since its beginning in 1930. Men have already taken their spare keys from their women. They are giving themselves a leave for a month. To watch football with ‘the boys.’ They are leaving at home TVs three times larger than the ones they are going for. These are the questions ladies are trying to Google but in vain.
Well, football is about togetherness, and, having time with the boys. That is why even if you gave him a 72″HD Sony LCD plasma with a 3D view he will still leave on a rainy hour, get rained on, go to join other fans even if they are watching a 1″ black and yellow TV. To him, he’d rather listen to a SONITEC radio but the company remains intact. You also know beers are not served at home. We don’t watch a match with a cup of coffee my dear.
This is a tough period for ladies. You will be forced to log out of Facebook or log in to complain about how no one cares to comment on your post, or the selfie photos you took with clothes you never come out to the public with.
I don’t know where this hatred came from but ladies just hate football with passion. If you wish to know how ladies hate football fanatics. Ladies married to the fanatics who are now searching for football tickets to Brazil like scholarships will prefer their husbands to have mpango wa kando than be a football fanatics. For one, the last thing she can wish to see from you is your tears; she knows real men don’t cry. But that is until your team loses a match!
Once a football story is introduced this man leaves all duties he has and starts discussing football with more concentration than he did during the interview of his current job. That is how much they suck. Ironically these people have never played football at any given point in life. He will pass next to a playing field and if the players hit him with the ball accidentally. That is the only contact he has with the ball and it may not end well with whoever did that global offense of hitting him with the ball.
During the World Cup period even the TV news bulletins will be courtesy of Super sport. Even the Cheche breakfast show, where opinion counts will be inviting football and not political analysts. NTV opinion poll will only have match predictions and Jesus is Lord Radio may be forced to bring live matches to maintain their clients.
Nothing irritates like the moshene associated with World Cup especially when my team has been beaten hi5 by a team made of second hand players. Second hand players are those players bought at a throw away price due to under-performance such that when you see them play, you aren’t sure you are watching a football or tennis. Then they play against Kaka and beats us 5 nil. That is when I realize mwanaume ni kujinyoga (During this period several ladies will lose their men. That is how serious world cup is, ladies).
Ladies if you managed to read this post to this far, am sure your day might be ruined but am sorry; football is inevitable. Thanks anyway I expected a sharp swipe to the next post. But it may be a football post too. Confirm.
***WORLD CUP BRAZIL 2014***